When cooking a turkey, it's necessary to check the temperature occasionally throughout the cooking process. You want to make sure the temperature is maintained just right to keep from over cooking or under cooking. Over cooking will produce the dreaded dry breast while under cooking can cause sickness throughout your family.
Your bird can appear to be perfectly fine and delicious on the outside. Even after you place your golden brown bird in the center of your perfectly set table and carve the first piece, it’s not until you’re enjoying the fruit of your labor that you discover somethings gone wrong. It’s either dry or under cooked. Either way it’s ruined!
Your bird can appear to be perfectly fine and delicious on the outside. Even after you place your golden brown bird in the center of your perfectly set table and carve the first piece, it’s not until you’re enjoying the fruit of your labor that you discover somethings gone wrong. It’s either dry or under cooked. Either way it’s ruined!
What temperature is your marriage?
Is there something simmering beneath the surface waiting to boil over at an inopportune moment? Or has it cooled off completely, from constantly being put on the back burner?
The secret to a good marriage is good communication. But where do you start? It seems many marriage conversations revolve around who is picking up which kid from what event, and what's for dinner. Real communication involves sharing from the heart. And it doesn't have to take huge chunks of time. So where do you start? Here’s an exercise you might want to try for regular temperature readings.
Start your conversation by adressing these 5 things weekly or daily:
1. Appreciation
2. New Information
3. Puzzles
4. Complaints with a Request for Change
5. Wishes, Hopes and Dreams
How does it work? Each category is shared back and forth like a tennis match. First the wife might share something she appreciates, then the husband. Then move on to any New Information. Puzzles are next, sharing something that is concerning you.
But wait! This isn't a time for problem solving! After you share your puzzle, your spouse shares theirs. This is all about communicating what is going on inside your heart, mind and life. This is not a time for long discussions in any of the categories. Because if you had time for long discussions, you'd be having them right? This is about taking 15 minutes and sharing with one another about your life, your day, your dreams, and keeping an open line of communication.
Next comes complaints with a request for change. What this doesn't look like is "You never take out the trash!" That is a complaint and an attack. What it could look like is, "I notice because you're not in the kitchen as often as I am, you don't see when the trash is full. Would you be willing to check the trash can every evening before bed so you get into the routine of taking it out before it's overflowing and I'm complaining?"
Finally, Wishes, Hopes, and Dreams. This is just a fun way to share something you're thinking about that you'd like to do. Publish a book, travel, sleep, eat outside, etc. Speak from the heart. Nothing is too big or too small.
It's too easy to get into a rut, where your spouse becomes more like a roommate than a partner. These weekly temperature checks can keep you close, even when the world is pulling you apart. Then hopefully your marriage's temperature will be just right, and no one will end up burned.
This exercise can keep you and your spouse having an open line of communication, keep the temperature of the marriage from getting too hot or too cold, and give you a better understanding of what is going on in your partner's world. Then when you have more time together without interruption, like date night, you can explore the things you've been talking about in depth or do other things….
As always, I'd love for you to share your thoughts.
Be blessed,
Beverly
The secret to a good marriage is good communication. But where do you start? It seems many marriage conversations revolve around who is picking up which kid from what event, and what's for dinner. Real communication involves sharing from the heart. And it doesn't have to take huge chunks of time. So where do you start? Here’s an exercise you might want to try for regular temperature readings.
Start your conversation by adressing these 5 things weekly or daily:
1. Appreciation
2. New Information
3. Puzzles
4. Complaints with a Request for Change
5. Wishes, Hopes and Dreams
How does it work? Each category is shared back and forth like a tennis match. First the wife might share something she appreciates, then the husband. Then move on to any New Information. Puzzles are next, sharing something that is concerning you.
But wait! This isn't a time for problem solving! After you share your puzzle, your spouse shares theirs. This is all about communicating what is going on inside your heart, mind and life. This is not a time for long discussions in any of the categories. Because if you had time for long discussions, you'd be having them right? This is about taking 15 minutes and sharing with one another about your life, your day, your dreams, and keeping an open line of communication.
Next comes complaints with a request for change. What this doesn't look like is "You never take out the trash!" That is a complaint and an attack. What it could look like is, "I notice because you're not in the kitchen as often as I am, you don't see when the trash is full. Would you be willing to check the trash can every evening before bed so you get into the routine of taking it out before it's overflowing and I'm complaining?"
Finally, Wishes, Hopes, and Dreams. This is just a fun way to share something you're thinking about that you'd like to do. Publish a book, travel, sleep, eat outside, etc. Speak from the heart. Nothing is too big or too small.
It's too easy to get into a rut, where your spouse becomes more like a roommate than a partner. These weekly temperature checks can keep you close, even when the world is pulling you apart. Then hopefully your marriage's temperature will be just right, and no one will end up burned.
This exercise can keep you and your spouse having an open line of communication, keep the temperature of the marriage from getting too hot or too cold, and give you a better understanding of what is going on in your partner's world. Then when you have more time together without interruption, like date night, you can explore the things you've been talking about in depth or do other things….
As always, I'd love for you to share your thoughts.
Be blessed,
Beverly